It’s all about us

It’s all about us

It’s a tricky business this getting older lark.

Once we got over the hump of the big ’45’ life began to feel a bit overwhelming. Confusing even? We needed a plan. A strategy to navigate this (no)woman’s land and get us through our 40’s and into midlife with our sanity and humour relatively intact.

So what were our options?

A). Lie down in a dark room and hit the gin until our suite at Shady Pines is ready? Tempting.

Or  B) Embrace it. Create a space for people like us to talk about it. Somewhere 40+ women are not invisible nor defined by a terrifying list of menopausal horrors.

Whilst we don’t dispute the unpleasantness of the hot flushes, the irrational bouts of rage and dwindling libido, neither do we want to be defined by it. Instead, we want a real place where we can hangout with like-minded older birds with brains, wit and a healthy curiosity in all things interesting to us.

So this is it. Welcome to The Bearded Ladies Club! Come and fall apart in our backyard . . . .

Us 

The year was 1990, the ‘Second Summer of Love’. The location was that hallowed seat of learning, Birmingham Poly. We were 2 gobby northern, working class teenagers with a penchant for a perm and batwing jumpers and a liking for Diamond Whites. What can we say, it was friendship at first sight.

Yes we have become more middle aged and middle class over the last 3 decades but happily our friendship has lasted longer than our demi waves.

Me and Her

Ms Mac : I am 46 (wtf!) and yet still have my own hair and teeth.

Lives : In Brighton but have never knowingly worn anything made of hemp.

Likes : I still buy from Top Shop but covet the M&S  relaxed skinny jeans. I endeavour to know more about the Arab Spring and less about The Kardashians. I genuinely like a Pina Colada.

Living : When I am not being an ‘older mum’ (grrr) to Lola, I am a freelance marketer. This means I get to wear a nice frock and say ‘brain dump’ . When I am not working for long periods I sometimes feel the need to remind people I am also in marketing so they don’t assume my only talents are play doh modelling and losing my shit .

Significant others :

Mr Mac (partner) works in That London doing something with money. He has a lovely, full head of hair which is in no way receding ( he told me to say that ). He sometimes cries at Long Lost Family (he told me not to say that).

Lola Mac (daughter) is 5 and feral. She has a borderline obsession with bums, willies and poo. Despite being a mini sociopath she is laugh out loud funny and has promised to live with me forever. I have never ever loved anyone more.

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Ms P: Cissy to her Ada. Not quite all my own teeth and as for the hair, as various hairdressers over the years have said, ‘thin…but lots of of it’ as if the sheer amount of it is legitimate compensation for its general crapness.

Likes:  Watching anything involving Mary Berry and a country house, Joanna Lumley travelling anywhere by any mode of transportation, and Bob Mortimer wielding a fishing rod. Partial to anything involving pastry and meat, otherwise known as pie. Musically if it’s not Vandross, Streisand or George Michael I am honestly and unapologetically not interested.

Living: Was once a teacher for a very long time, then became the boss teacher, then realised if I had to teach Romeo and Juliet Act 3, Scene 5 one more time I too would drink poison to end it all. Miss the kids, their funny jokes and their sheer brilliance, but now I get to be a consultant person and work in my pyjamas if I want.

Significant Others:

Hubster: Tall, dark and the handsomest of them all. He also has the most acceptable feet of any man I have known.

Pudster: About to be 18 and everyday I am amazed that my prepartum diet of mostly jacket potato, beans and grated cheese generated such beauty, brains and wit.