It’s not called God’s Own Country for nowt

1st August 2019 0 By bearded ladies


In honour of Yorkshire Day, ten of my favourite things about being from God’s Own Country:

  1. It doesn’t matter how old I am/will become, when I am on home turf,  I will always be considered a ‘lass’.
  2. Thanks to a load (or a lerd) of marauding Vikings I am the proud owner (erner) of an authentic range of very fine, east coast norse vowels.
  3. The Brontes, Bennett, Bean (Sean, not Mr, you southern idiots) and Boycott. I could go on but that’s quite enough national treasures for one letter of the alphabet.
  4. Motorway signs on the M1 just past Mansfield that start to proclaim ‘The NORTH’ in capitals, as if even the typeface is working itself into a state of excitement.
  5. The pure glamour of Yorkshire women, or ‘northern landlady chic’ as I like to call it. Hair as big as our hearts, lips as bold as brass, and a LOT of leopard print. Think Elsie Tanner but from the right side of the Pennines.
  6. Its wild places: whether a windswept beach, a craggy moor or an undulating dale, there’s always a place to be alone, and ponder, and breathe.
  7. Phrasing: I get to make the most pleasurable Nora Battyesque utterances with zero affectation: ‘up yonder’ (up there) ‘down yon end’  (at the other end) and my favourite refrain, ‘I’m off t’shop’ (I am going to the shop).
  8. You get 4 for the price of 1.  North, South, East and West Yorkshire make it a veritable variety pack of a county, with each being so distinctly different from its neighbour, there’s never a need to stray to Lincolnshire or Lancashire (God forbid) for a change of scenery.  To save you the bother of consulting the Lonely Planet, a quick guide:

North Yorkshire: posh

South Yorkshire: coal

East Yorkshire: flat

West Yorkshire: mills

  1. I am resolutely not going to mention the Yorkshire pudding as it is probably one of the most disappointing culinary features of the place. Instead, a celebratory doff of the flat cap goes to:  Scarborough’s chippies, Hull Fair’s brandy snap, Barnsley’s chops, Leed’s pies, Bradford’s curries, and Harrogate’s tea-shops.
  2. And best of all, is going home.